My bones are fatigued. Every muscle in my body hurts. But I am happy. My eyes are glazed and instead of cuddling down with a book to read, instead I did the one thing I haven’t done all summer — I decided to write.
Maybe tomorrow, I will reach out to my writing community and attempt to start facilitating my own writing workshops again. Because last night I fell in love with the world again, and that’s saying something, because the world has been a dark and scary place for a long time.
Don’t get me wrong. As a single mother navigating a pricey custody battle, the world can still be a dark and scary place. But at least right now, I found a place to live. It is a basement, but it has two bedrooms for my son and I, and it is only 6 minutes away from my ex-husband, so that if he has my son, I can still knock on his door and ask if I can spend time with my son as well.
Not to say that this finally finding a place is all good news. I still have to somehow book movers in less than two weeks, pack up all my things, and attend my son’s birthday. I think I shall start doing that tomorrow. The spirit of other single mothers, help me.
Thsi is the kind of magic that happened today.
A good friend of I spent the majority of last night on a spontaneous decision to spend time together. As he was coming from Algonquin and having just put my son to bed, we really only had the evening to hang out. What commenced was an all-night affair where we spent the night chasing the stars, talking about our dreams and our mistakes, rushing to the beach to catch the sunlight, and when we tried to capture the sunrise on a timelapse video, we both fell asleep on the sand, only to be awakened by seagulls.
Afterwards, I had an interview with my landlord, backed by two realtors who were both single mothers and promised me, while holding my hand, that we were all in this together and that no matter what, they would find a place for me. I never felt so grateful to these two women for giving me a chance. They talked me up so much to the landlord that the landlord seemed genuinely happy to have me as a tenant. Of course, I don’t plan on dissapointing my realtors nor my new landlord. I understand the leap of faith they all decided to give me, just to give me a chance to be safe and secure with my son. It was as if they knew, I was drowning.
Dating and trying to find a man to love me, has seriously made me jaded about how the world works.
I forgot the magic of having strangers understand your struggle, and a good friend to hold you close when you’re cold, lean down and kiss your hair to make you feel safe and loved, and say, with confidence, “You’ll be allright.”
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