What I learned about motherhood, above all things, is perseverance.
You MUST persevere EVERYDAY. There is no rest.
If you want to succeed, you cannot stop. It must be the fuel that energizes you. The fire that sparks your soul. If you feel tired or uninspired, you must draw strength from inside of you, a part of you you didn’t even know exists, power you never knew you had, and somehow, keep going, no matter what, even if it hurts. Even if doing it is slowly erasing who you once were in the act of living your life for someone else–you must do it. You must do it for the magic.
This magic doesn’t happen everyday. In fact, it happens rarely. But you will know it when it happens. You will not mistake it for anything else. And how does one describe it? How does one describe the moment in which you feel, all of a sudden, so fulfilled? Like nothing could possibly complete you more than you feel in this moment, even though you know it’s only the beginning?
Magic is when your son lingers in guilt at the corner of your eye, twiddling his thumbs and trying desperately to catch your gaze. You look away and pretend to be angry though your heart is melting. He crawly slowly towards you, puts his head in your lap, his whole body curled, enclosed like a fist at the palm of your hands, and he says, “Sorry”.
The first time he voluntarily said so without being prompted, without being told first — that’s magic — to see the lessons you taught him all his life come into fruition in a single second — that’s magic.
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